The premise of the movie amounts to King Leonidas telling his soldiers: "Men, we have millions of Persians outside our gates! But we are SPARTANS... let us DROWN them in the SWEAT of our MANLINESS!!" What follows is an hour and a half cinematic that looks like it was ripped straight out of an action game. Amidst the carnage you get a decent amount of witty quotes and morbid humor, but very little plot. Characters have no depth, and I honestly couldn't care less what happened to them seeing as how their goal in life is to die in battle. They fight for freedom, and the price of freedom is shown in stark contrast with the comforting ease of tyranny. There's some awesome quotes like "Cruel Leonidas demanded that you stand. I require only that you kneel." The visual eye-candy is larger than life and carries across the epic tone.

This is a comedy that stands out by having a unique (albeit inaccurate) plot idea and original characters. It's funny, sweet, and has a surprising amount of emotional depth. I heard a lot of good things about it from my co-workers, so I went in with high expectations, and while I enjoyed watching it, I didn't find most of the movie as incredible as they did. But that all changed when I saw the end, which actually sent shivers down my spine. It is genuinely touching and not to be missed. 

When every university Bartleby applied to turned him down, his parents wouldn't take "no" for an answer. He decided to placate their fears by creating a fictional college, complete with its own website where acceptance was "only a click away!" When his folks wanted physical proof, Bartleby even rented an abandoned mental ward and fixed it up to look like a college. But what he wasn't prepared for was that slackers everywhere surfing the web would take him up on the offer and click their way into enrollment. With a Dean like Lewis Black, a curriculum that includes "Daydreaming" and "Girls" and students are the teachers, can Bartleby's institution become accredited before he is hauled off to jail? This movie encapsulates my own disillusionment with mainstream college.

This movie was very... odd. Very creative, but very overblown and nonsensical most of the time. The action wasn't very believable, and this is coming from somebody who thinks standard Hong Kong wire-fu is very believable. Much of the characters' motivations for befriending and turning on each other were largely unexplained and seemed a little silly. It had an interesting take on cloning, but it was very scientifically flawed. Cloning DNA is all well and good, but cloning memory and soul along with it is another matter. Other than that, it must be nice to have feet with opposable thumbs.

This is a confused, plodding epic of blood, guts, and overt homoerotica that really makes you feel like you're there. Allow me to paraphrase... Yay, we conquered Persia! We love you Alexander! And I love you, Alexander. I love you too, Hephaistion. Onward, to the east! We must leave a trail of carnage, err, I mean we must uplift and educate these barbarians from their inferior ways. Everybody's dying and we hate you Alexander! Shut up, fools, we need to keep going so that our names will be immortalized in legend! Oh no, elephants! Crap, lets go home. Last but not least, you know that rumored love scene between Colin Farrell and Jared Leto? LIES! All LIES!!

First thing's first, I am openly biased in favor of Predator, and Predator did good! That's not to say Alien did bad, of course. There was many a time that I wanted to scream "leave poor Predator alone!" But I didn't. I just muttered it in a snarling manner... >_> The human characters weren't exactly developed, but who cares, you're watching this just to see Alien and Predator duke it out and you know it. The movie does not disappoint in that respect. Some of the fighting was so breathtaking you could hear awed gasps and exclamations of praise coming from the audience. Now, I don't want to give out any spoilers, but if I could sum up my opinion of this movie in one word, it would be "adorable"! >^.^<

Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston, and Philip Seymour Hoffman are all great comedic actors, and putting them together in one movie is a surefire recipe for laughter. Did that sound corny, or what? Well, nothin' much to say about this movie. I went, I saw, I laughed, I left. It's worth seeing, but not a romantic comedy classic like There's Something About Mary or Meet The Parents.

I typically watch horror movies to cheer myself up, but as I sat through Amityville all I could think was "holy crap, I didn't sign up for this!!" The majority are funny at best and just plain dumb at worst, but this is one film that lives up to its genre. Even keeping your guard up for the inevitable frights will not save you from being scared shitless. You have to respect movies that can show things instead of using suspense, and still have it be terrifying. I have not seen the original, I know nothing about the real Amityville, I just wanted to watch a movie that I had low expectations for, and I was very pleasantly/terribly surprised. Best true horror movie I've seen in a long, long time.

This is a cute little comedic satire that makes fun not only of the news but also of cross-gender relations in the workplace. Though not Will Farrell's best work, it's worth seeing just for the mentally challenged Brick Tamland who is played by Steven Carell of Daily Show fame. First he plays a news anchor on Bruce Almighty, now here, seems the poor guy is stuck in that role but I certainly don't mind! Also keep your eyes out for cameos by Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Jack Black, and others.

What a terrible waste of a Mayan theme! Honestly, I wait for months for this movie and all I get to see of the splendors of Mayan civilization is maybe ten minutes of a city where they're all acting crazy. It follows the life of a young man named Jaguar Paw, whose idyllic lifestyle of tricking his friends into eating boar testicles is forever ruined after his relatively primitive village is sacked by the Mayan military. The rest of the movie is one long chase scene through the surrounding jungles as Jaguar Paw tries to make it back to the pit where he hid his wife and son. If I wanted a chase movie, I'd watch The Fugitive. Yes, I know, it's supposed to be about the downfall of Mayan civilization, but I still expect to see more of the local culture besides funky hairstyles! Granted, the sacrificial scene atop the pyramid was very nice, and any movie with black jaguars is worth my time.

OK, I admit it, I only saw this because it had Jackie Chan. It's kind of a mixed bag, really. Most of it is stupid and corny, but the parts in Turkey and China were extremely enjoyable! Anyone that watches Hong Kong cinema probably has the name Wong Fei Hong drilled into their skulls by now, and I was psyched to see that he has made it over into Hollywood releases as well! Yes, he was here, along with the 10 Tigers of Canton who wore masks with tigers' jaws drawn on them which was totally AWESOME!! Also, I very much liked the main "evil Chinese warlord" villain, who had a stunning hairstyle and razor-sharp claws.

Can I just say "wow"? Wow! A true superhero angst-fest that takes itself seriously and leaves you with the feeling that something like this can indeed happen in our world. Batman did not become what he is by having any psychic powers or being mutated, but rather through hardcore training, determination, and a plethora of overpriced military gadgets he could afford by virtue of his family legacy. His motivation is a purely human desire to avenge the loved ones he lost and to protect the ones he still has. Also, Scarecrow is awesome!

I was only awake sporadically for this movie. All I really remember is that it was very random, that it had John Travolta in it, and that The Rock was gay. Not gay as in bad, but gay as in gay.

Tim Burton, my favorite director, tackles the drama genre! While the basic story is about a son trying to reconcile with his dying father, thankfully it's not all about the drama (I hate drama). The heart of the movie are the spellbinding, fantasy-esque stories the father tells his son about his life. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, but in the end it's just going to make you want to watch Sleepy Hollow again.

Wow was this movie bad. I don't think there is a word in the English language to do justice to its terribleness, so I'll make one up: $#!@%. This movie was $#!@%. The characters didn't grab me at all, and their motivations were confused at best. I spent most of my time trying to figure out why I should care about them and I still have no idea. The plot was a mishmash of unrelated events. I spent the remainder of my time trying to figure out what the point of showing them was. They do try to tie it all together in the end, but by then I was too far gone to appreciate it. The movie was slow, boring, incoherent, and felt much longer than it actually was. I never thought I'd ever use the phrase "I want my 2 hours back," but I now realize I was just saving it for this movie. The eccentric family of psychos was amusing, though.

It might not have the plot depth of the original or the nonstop action of the second, but the third installment of this series offers an interesting mix of morbid, sarcastic humor and darkness. Granted the involvement of big D is a bit cheesy, but what vampire flick doesn't stumble over this hurdle at some point in its development? Whistler is replaced by his illegitimate daughter and, uhhh, some guy. Together with a rag-tag team of amateur vamp hunters who remind me of X-files' Lone Gunmen, Blade sets off to restore his good name and stop Dracula. The vampiric dogs alone make this worth watching.

This is the gayest straight movie I've ever seen, and that is a very, very good thing! Two skating rivals who couldn't be more opposite are banned from competing in their single divisions for publicly fighting over a Gold medal... but they could still compete in the pairs division! Could they put aside their differences and work together to forge a team worthy of Gold? A truly hilarious movie with more than enough innuendo to keep any yaoi fan happy. Whether you're in it to watch a relationship blossom or just want to see some hot man on man action, this movie has it all! This might be kind of silly to say, but it was during their first official dance together, as they're skating to the music from Armageddon, that I truly understood what love means. *_* The perfect trust flowering between them showed me the beauty of being completely open to another living being, uniting with them in mind and body. Such sacred vulnerability dissolves all barriers and makes you embrace the universe with your whole heart! Yeah I, err, liked the movie a lot. ^^;

Think Hotel Rwanda, except they fight back. In parts of Africa, diamond mining fuels civil war and slavery. Children are torn from their families and recruited into rogue militias that massacre the countryside. It's frightening to see what is done to the minds of these kids, who no longer recognize their parents and would shoot people trying to help them. Whole towns are reduced to rubble as the military trucks roll by. "T.I.A." as they say - "this is Africa." The movie focuses on Solomon, a man who hid a particularly large chunk of pink diamond, Danny, a diamond smuggler who promises Solomon to help find his family for a share of the profits, and Captain Poison, who intends to get the diamond by any means necessary. In the end, Solomon finds his son, Danny gains a heart, and Captain Poison gets what he deserves. 

Any review of this movie must stress that Borat misrepresents the Kazakhstani people. It is grossly unfair to them and he really should've made up a fake country instead - honestly, nobody in the USA would've been able to tell the difference. That said, the movie is $%#@&% hilarious!! By posing as a reporter from an emphatically backwards country, Borat manages to expose the ignorance and prejudices that lie beneath the surface of everyday Americans. Although Borat constantly makes bigoted statements against Jews, homosexuals, women, and the mentally challenged, the reactions of those not in on the joke are priceless! I'm honestly surprised he didn't get shot over some of the antics he pulled (rodeo, anyone?). Of all the skits in this movie, I would say the one with the Christian congregation speaking in tongues takes the cake. It truly has to be seen to be believed.

If you're expecting a full-fledged fantasy like Narnia, think again! This is a relatively mundane coming of age story that has more in common with My Girl than Harry Potter. A young boy scorned by his peers meets a young girl who encourages him to keep his heart and mind wide open to the magic in the world. They find a place in the woods all to themselves, where their day to day problems are transformed into fairytale archetypes. Together they use the strength of their imagination to face their fears and empower their lives. Through maturity and compassion they turn bullies into allies, befriend teachers, and draw closer to their families. It's a sweet movie but very mellow. I want my battling elves, damnit!!

Ahh... the gay cowboy - err, sheepherder - movie. They should just start calling these things "Gay Movie: somebody's gonna die." Don't get me wrong, I like gay people, nay, I love gay people (if my Favorite Pairings List is any indication)! But Ang Lee could make the best idea come off boring and depressing onscreen (*cough*CTHD*cough*). Epic love story? More like two horny men stuck with sheep on a remote mountain - and they didn't go for the sheep. I liked I liked Jack (Jake) but I hated Ennis' (Heath) character and didn't understand what Jack saw in him. Oh well, at least the nature scenery was pretty.

It couldn't seem to decide whether it wanted to be a scary movie or a kids' movie and kept fluctuating between creepy and wacky. I suppose this is, however, the original spirit of fairy tales. This is also the first movie I've seen where a torture specialist serves as comic relief. The plot was decent, the presentation was great, the climax otherworldly, and I really have no complaints besides that it somehow lacked that intangible quality that makes a movie one of my favorites.

A movie about time travel to rival Donnie Darko... and surpass it. A movie that will quite probably make it to my very own TOP 10 list. Like an intense episode of Outer Limits, Butterfly Effect takes you through an intricate labyrinth of alternate realities, and shows how every choice we make can change our lives forever. Do not close your eyes, do not go to the bathroom... stay and watch... you'll be putting the pieces together long after the movie is done.

This is a prequel to the James Bond movies, a second remake of movies by the same name from 1954 and 1967. It introduces Daniel Craig as James Bond who, despite vaguely resembling a shaved rat, pulls off the role quite well. The movie is a lot more serious, more violent, and some would say more depressing than its predecessors. It kicks off with the most hypnotic, intricate, psychedelic credits sequence I have ever seen which is followed by an incredible action scene set in Uganda where Bond and his target are leaping across buildings and generally defying gravity. So, after displaying Bond's peerless physical prowess, the rest of the movie is a rather contrived game of poker against the main villain... because using force would be too easy. The prequel sets up Bond's character and why he trusts no one.

A remake of one of my favorite childhood movies by Tim Burton starring Johnny Depp? I'm there! I'm still not sure which version I like better, but this one delved more into quirky details, particularly Willy Wonka's psychology and past. The Indian commission for a palace made of chocolate was a particularly memorable side story. The settings were beautiful and Danny Elfman's musical score was wonderful, as is the case in all of Tim Burton's movies.

As far as I'm concerned, children are just parasites that feed off you for 9 months before clawing their way out of your body and leeching off you for 18 more years. So one would think that all women becoming infertile and the youngest human on Earth being 18 is a Utopia! But, according to this movie, it's a post-apocalyptic nightmare where illegal immigrants are shipped to concentration camps, terrorist run the streets, and people have lost all hope for the future. Bah! Bah, I say! If anything, a decreasing population would mean more resources to go around. Anyway, so this woman becomes pregnant - the first pregnancy in 18 years - and this guy must safely escort her to the good folks at the Human Project before humanity becomes extinct. When the baby is born amidst a scuffle between militia, all violence stops and the soldiers revere mother and child as the incarnation of a goddess that she is. Still hate babies.

"Our Lion who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily Narnia. And forgive us our Harry Potters, as we forgive those who Harry Potter against us..." Yeah this movie has heavy religious overtones and yeah Aslan is very Jesus, complete with dying for our sins and rising from the grave. But you know what? I don't give a crap, it still wowed the socks off me!! I am glad we live in a day and age where I can go to a kids' movie and come out raving about the fantastic action scenes, lol. The White Queen kicked major ass on the battlefield! Indeed, perhaps she kicked too much ass for the target audience, since she was incredibly brutal and cruel throughout the entire movie.

What can I say? This movie fell slightly short of my low expectations. Don't get me wrong! I liked Pitch Black very much... but this 'aint no Pitch Black. The script here seems to be patched together from corny one-liners, so I could only take anyone seriously when they shut up and tried to look sinister. The characters couldn't be flatter. Most of the movie had nothing to do with the central plot, so that the actual face off between villain and antihero came off as an afterthought in a rushed last twenty minutes. The fight scenes were awkward and edited very strangely. The only really exciting parts was when they were trying to escape the infernal sunrise.

This has all the dirty jokes, anecdotal situations, and awkward pornographic conjectures of the original. But most importantly, it has the two New Jersey losers working a dead end job who made the first movie so easy to relate to, and the other two losers who stand outside the first two losers' establishment selling drugs and flashing passerbys. But Dante is growing up. He now has a fiancé who wants to whisk him away to Florida and have her daddy give him a real job. Can Dante cut ties with his home, his friends, and his boss to become a productive member of society? Listen!... as a sheltered Christian fundie explains sex ed. Watch!... three nerds fight over Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. See!... a grown man get it on with a donkey! All this and more, in Clerks 2.

The movie starts out pathetic and painfully unfunny. It never really gets much funnier, but it does get less pathetic. In fact, from beginning to end is a vast improvement in quality. Would you want the power to control your life? To skip all the boring, annoying, inconvenient, stressful, tedious parts and move on to the good stuff? What would be left? And would the goal be worth anything without the journey? Through a series of depressing, heart-wrenching episodes, the movie forces you to understand that if we keep living for the future instead of seizing the now, life will pass us by. It's the little everyday things that count most in the end. It is the missed opportunities of the mundane that we will most regret not taking advantage of when our time comes.

Yes, I finally saw Cold Mountain. I've been avoiding it because it seemed like a long, boring drama and Jude Law vaguely reminds me of my ex-stalker. I have to say it was better than I expected, and lots of stars made cameos that I didn't know were in the movie... like Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Suplee, Cillian Murphy, and Natalie Portman! The movie really played up on a lot of my fears, and managed to make a significant (although sad) emotional impact. Gotta admit Jude Law was very pretty... and bloody... and had long hair *_*

Well, it wasn't a bad movie, but it was a rather dry and boring movie. It's worth seeing for three reasons. Reason one, Jamie Foxx (Max the cabby) excelling at a dramatic role. Reason two, Tom Cruise (Vincent the hitman) trying to play the bad guy. Reason three, their morbid existential musings. Basically, the plot is that Vincent forces the unsuspecting Max to chauffer him around on his killing spree. You don't know the victims, you don't care about the victims. The only one of the victims that I felt bad for wasn't even on Vincent's list. Oh yeah, and they didn't run over a coyote crossing the road. That was nice of them.

Hell wants him, Heaven won't take him, so we're stuck listening to his incessant whining about how much his life sucks. In his attempt to win salvation after a damning suicide attempt, Constantine works to expel demons from the lands of the living. His big chance to redeem himself comes with the opportunity to save the world by preventing the birth of Satan's own son on Earth. My favorite character has got to be Gabriel, a quirky angel who is not afraid to use... unorthodox... methods to spread the word of God.

Were I a fan of Nightmare Before Christmas I'm sure I'd like this movie better. As it stands, it had met my expectations of a guy trying to get out of marrying a dead girl. It was pretty, it was funny, and I'm not one to complain when Tim Burton teams up with Johnny Depp. My favorite part was when the undead invaded a living town, the people freaked out for a bit, but then realized that these are their own dead family/friends/lovers.

This is best described as the male version of The Craft, except that I like The Craft a lot better. The story goes that there were five families of Ipswitch gifted with supernatural powers. This power was passed to the firstborn male per generation, and consumed your life force as you used it. A family that lusted for more power was banished and presumed dead in the witch trials. When a descendant of this lost bloodline resurfaces, he is pissed off at the other four and uses massive amounts of power to... attack their girlfriends. Very creepy but very pointless Darklings start appearing, and the boys begin investigating what's up. I still have no idea what the pentacle has to do with any of this, since there is no mention of Paganism, Wicca, or even elementary magic.

An extraordinary inner-city drama that examines the complex interplay of race, stereotypes, and self-fulfilling prophecies with unflinching realism. It follows the lives of several people who couldn't be more different and explores their interactions when life forces them to "crash" into each other. The lines between racism, hypocrisy, righteousness, political correctness, and morality blur as the flaws and humanity of all involved are exposed.

Some stories that make better movies than books, and other stories make better books than movies. This one is the latter. But I'm not sure if I could even call this a movie. It's more like a lecture. A two hour college lecture on history, religion, and symbolism. It is by no means a boring lecture. I thought it was fascinating, insightful, thought-provoking, and intriguing in its own way, but this is coming from someone who watches documentaries for fun. I normally despise religious zealots, but my favorite character here was Silas, the homicidal Soldier of God(tm) with faith as blind as a bat. I admire his determination.

Advertised as coming from 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie, I could see why the other 4 bowed out of this disaster. I have enjoyed the Scary Movie series, over-the-top parodies of horror movies with their moronic yet contagious sense of humor, but this romantic comedy parody did nothing for me. I barely cracked a smile throughout the whole thing despite the constant barrage of contrived and nonsensical skits. The closest I came to an emotion was that of confused disgust. My guess is this was scripted by writers used to focusing on purely physical comedy with no real idea of how to link isolated episodes to an ongoing plot.

Well, I walked in expecting this movie to be somewhere between mediocre and boring, but it was actually pretty damn good! There were scary parts, there were funny parts, there were corny parts, but there was never a dull moment. The cast of characters was pretty standard... a nurse, a cop, security guards, a cute guy, a hot chick, a friendly dog, and yes, even a pregnant woman. There was one guy that reminded me of a cross between Ash and Autolycus in his looks and attitude. When he picked up a chainsaw and started cutting up zombies, I had to wonder if I was watching Evil Dead. There's no real plot. The goal, as it is in most horror movies, is simply to stay alive... err, in the non-zombie sense of alive.

True, it is a special effects extravaganza of drastically flawed science, but I have to question the sanity of anyone that sees it for any other reason. Fine, Jake Gyllenhaal is an acceptable other reason. Nevertheless, this movie epitomizes everything I want to happen on this planet. It is my humble elitist eco-freak opinion that humans need to be put in their place by Mother Nature. Whether through ice, snow, heat, flood, lava, earthquake or tornado - I don't care! Yes, it wouldn't happen overnight, but do not doubt that Gaia has more than enough firepower to wipe arrogant little parasites with delusions of grandeur off the face of her body.

The plot is simple enough. You have two guys. Colin poses as a cop while working for a mafia boss, Billy poses as a criminal while working for the cops. When both sides realize that they have a mole at either end, there begins a race against evidence to discover who it is. This does not bode well for Colin, but is even more disastrous for Billy, who is surrounded by sadistic criminals that wouldn't hesitate to do very nasty things to him if the truth leaked out. What's worse, Billy's only hope for regaining his identity rests in the hands of two other people. I was absolutely terrified for poor Billy. The more I got into the movie, the more it dawned on me that I have already watched it back when it was in Chinese and called Infernal Affairs. Deja Vu = the feeling that you have seen a guy's head get blown off before.

I almost didn't go see this (Ben Stiller movies have been really sucking lately) but I'm glad I did. It's not perfect, and Ben doesn't exactly play a likeable role here, but it's definitely a turn for the better. It vaguely reminded me of Zoolander, and I love Zoolander to pieces. I particularly liked Steve the Pirate, because I'm a RenFest freak. And I'm sure somebody on the production team was a RenFest freak as well, because that's my only explanation for Steve the Pirate and the main girl's obsession with fairies and unicorns. It had parts that were genuinely funny, and its anti-perfectionist message was pleasantly refreshing.

If the director wasn't on an acid trip this might have been an ok movie. As it stands, the jerky footage was irritating and the tangled story barely coherent. It wouldn't have killed ya to keep the camera steady once in a while. Leave the quirky cinematography and witty plot twists to Guy Ritchie, I say. And what's with the damn goldfish? It symbolizes the pain of emotional attachment, I get it. It's not deep, get over it! As for the characters, Alf the cat-eating Arab was so bomb-tastically stereotypical he was almost not. I liked Choco, though, Choco was psycho. The scene where he shot off a guy's arm was hilarious!

I'll get this out of the way: I am not a fan of first person shooters and have never played the game. Those that have, claim the movie didn't have enough action in general and first person shooting in particular. I, however, felt it moved along at the pace of any other sci-fi/horror flick and had more of a plot than the mindless gore-fest I had anticipated (and I have nothing against mindless gore-fests). While I do not ascribe to the idea that the unmapped 10% of the genome contains the blueprint for the soul, I find the movie's moral take on DNA fascinating. When the first person shooting mode did finally kick in, it was pretty damn awesome.

This is a pretty average comedy with a rather boring premise: a hot girl that is attracted to Employees of the Month. When Zack the box boy gets to meet Amy, the new girl, it is lust at first sight! Zack will do anything to win this month's honors away from the overachieving Vince just to get in her pants. That's all I really have to say about a movie where the only character I liked was Jorge, Vince's little box boy pet. The jokes just weren't all that funny and the main cast entirely forgettable.

When the blue dragon Saphira hatched for a boy named Eragon, his life with his uncle on Tatooine Alagaesia would never be the same. Immediately the evil Darth Vader Galbatorix sent Storm Troopers Ra'zac to find him. Although they killed his uncle and ravaged his farm, Eragon was taken by Jedi Master Dragon Rider Brom into the wilds to regroup with the Rebel Alliance Varden. Brom explained that a long time ago, there many Dragon Riders Jedi, but the strongest among them, Galbatorix, turned to the Dark Side, founded his own Empire, and exterminated those that stood against him. Brom trained Eragon to be a Dragon Rider too, but Eragon was arrogant, and decided to go alone to the Death Star Galbatorix's fortress and rescue Princess Leia Arya. I can go on and on, and even rewrite it as Lord of the Rings, but I did like the movie enough to see it three times. Mostly due to the hotness that is Murtagh. *_*

As with anything done by Charlie Kaufman, you at least know it's gonna be original, and Eternal Sunshine definitely delivers. It's a real head trip... and I don't mean head trip in the sense of Butterfly Effect, or in the sense of Identity, or even in the sense of Being John Malcovich. I mean head trip in the sense of a romp through the scattered memories of some guy's deteriorating relationship. But, in the deeper sense, it is a movie that teaches us to value all memories - both painful and happy - because without them, we couldn't learn and grow as human beings.

This movie contains crude jokes, nudity, blatant stereotypes, homoerotic themes, and mild incest. If you have a problem with that, don't see it. If you don't have a problem with that (and I don't), it's a rather fun ride through a bunch of European countries. The movie is very fast-paced, and the scenery changes often enough for you not to get bored - perhaps too fast, actually. There are some questionable scenes in Italy, but overall, great movie!

It has its moments of creepy scares but most of the film is a rather dry account of a trial. If this movie has taught me anything, it is that humans are very easy to freak out. A little flicker of the lights here, a little creaking of the floor there, perhaps add some clanging doors and they think "AAAAAHHH I AM GOING TO DIIIIEEEE!!!" I mean really, even if an entity shows me hallucinations of people's eyes bleeding out of their sockets, disturbing as that may be, it would be silly to panic until said entity demonstrates its intent and/or ability to do actual harm to your person.

Crows and hyenas and maggots, oh my! Can't forget the swarms of flies, either. All life in the vicinity of the archeological unearthing of an ancient anti-church has gone absolutely bonkers! Crows eating each other, babies being born infested with maggots, spontaneous bleeding... may I be the first to say WTF?? (or SFW, whichever you prefer) What does any of this have to do with any of that? Does Lucifer (oddly portrayed as a black winged horned man, not the brilliant angel of light that the Bible clearly says he was) have a bizarre fetish for sheer random ickyness?? Besides being incoherent, most of the movie is really, excruciatingly boring... but thankfully it picks up in the last half hour or so.

Everybody should see this movie. It doesn't matter if you're Democrat and Republican. Hell, I don't always agree with Michael Moore, but I still love all his movies. Many are saying that this movie is disrespectful to the troops, but I spoke with a Vietnam vet and he agrees that it is nothing of the sort. It treats the troops as real human beings - sons and daughters, husbands and wives - not as pawns in a chess game played by a handful of elite sitting in their ivory towers. It shows that the only one disrespecting the troops is the wartime regime itself. Sometimes the most patriotic thing you can do for your country is to question the decisions of its leaders.

Trip is in his 30's, lives in a beautiful house, a perfectly tidy room, perpetually clean laundry, a fridge that never runs out of food, and has all the time in the world to play video games and pick up chicks. Life is good. What's the catch? He still lives with his parents. That's where Paula comes in, a trained professional specializing in inspiring adult children to move out on their own. This genuinely good, funny romantic comedy far surpassed my expectations. My favorite character was actually Kit (Zooey Deschanel), whose blunt, sarcastic attitude and quirky mannerisms probably make her my favorite female in all of movies. I never get tired of watching her.

A superhero adventure with likeable characters that is surprisingly funny. Unlike other mutants who try to hide their identity and/or are persecuted for who they are, the Fantastic 4 are embraced by society and the media despite (because of) their extraordinary abilities. Makes more sense to me. You still get your share of superhero angst, but most in the group are fine with their newfound powers, and one even *gasp!* enjoys them.

I hate cars, so I wanted to see this purely because it's about Japan. It still annoys me how American moviemakers feel they have to cast a Caucausian lead for the audience to be able to relate to a character, no matter how convoluted the story of how the hell he wound up in Japan is. Anyway, picture a martial arts movie, except that instead of all problems in life being solved by a tournament/duel, they race cars. The drifting was pretty cool, and I kept thinking to myself what the roads would be like if everyone drove like that on turns. I was upset that my favorite character died.

During the turn of the century China was corrupted by foreign influence that tried to crush its government and culture. To add insult to injury, colonial powers staged a tournament with the best fighters in Europe, to prove that they outdo the Chinese even in martial arts. Enter Huo Yuanjia. A real historic figure who went up against the best in Europe and Japan and emerged victorious, restoring pride and honor to his people. But the movie is hardly driven by action. The only glimpses you see of the tournament (besides the final fight) take place in the first five minutes. The rest is a rather mellow moral parable, dripping with majestic sets and beautiful scenery. Huo Yuanjia spends his youth winning battles against fellow kung fu masters in his quest to be the best, but his shallow ambition and lack of discernment in friends costs him everything he held dear. His search for redemption leads him to discover inner peace and the true nature of martial arts.

The concept of death as a sentient, vicious force that relentlessly stalks those that evade fate it is unsettling to say the least. The movie did an amazing job of building suspense and the deaths were very creative. My only complaint was the severe lack of male prettiness in this movie. I typically like to have a focus in a horror movie who I can worry about, and as the camera panned from one completely unremarkable character to another I was starting to panic. But there he was - the goth guy! Decent looking on his own, but compared to the rest of the males in the movie he was downright spectacular. When they showed him shooting pigeons I was almost ready to let him die, but he made a stunning comeback with the crazed insomniac look. I was very concerned about his future.

There are plenty of movies about the many adventures of Peter Pan, but none to do with the brilliant playwright who brought him to life - until now. It is not a lighthearted fantasy, but a tale of sorrow, loss of innocence, and coming of age in a seemingly cruel world. It is also a promise, that through the power of stories and imagination, there is light in the stifling darkness. Through the childlike spirit that hides deep within us all there is the hope for rebirth. Though our bodies cannot escape the passage of time, the ravages of disease, or the loss of loved ones, staying youthful in our hearts and minds allows us to see joy and wonder in the world.

When will bad guys learn to stop messing with Harrison Ford? Aside from his involvement, this is a pretty average movie. Criminals hold Ford's family hostage in hopes of getting him to hack into his own security programs and rob the bank of millions of dollars. But if you are going to tie up and gag a wife and two kids and stuff them in a van, why take their yapping little dog? No, really, I understand the plot purpose of having the dog there, but who in their right mind would take the dog? Were they afraid it would report them to the police?

Woman loses daughter on plane, nobody else believes woman, woman goes caraaaaaiiizeee!! I used to joke that I can think of no better description for this movie than "psycho bitch raids plane," but in all honestly I still can't. I suppose I could mention that the plot features a very annoying twist. Don't get me wrong, I like plot twists, so long as there is a buildup towards them. Not an obvious buildup, of course, but the kind that I can backtrack and find subtle clues and go "aha!" The kind that is intelligently planned and not something the scriptwriters pulled out of their ass at the last minute.

This is the story of man who tries to save his beloved across several lifetimes. As a Spanish conquistador he braves the jungles of the New World to find the Tree of Life that grants immortality. As a modern scientists he ceaselessly searches for a cure to death. As a futuristic space traveler he drifts inside a bubble towards a dying star. The movie unites elements from Christian and Mayan myth in this essay of love, death, and rebirth. It feels a lot longer than it actually is, which is not particularly a good thing, but the imagery and ideas leave a lasting impression. Ultimately it leads to the realization that death is not something to be fought, but a gateway to immortality. Whether through reincarnation or the eternal soul, consciousness lives forever in many forms.

Sometimes good people get involved in bad things. Johnny Blaze got tricked into selling his soul to the Devil in order to save his father. That didn't work out too well. Now he's cursed to transform into a flaming skeleton by night in the presence of evil and collect bounties for his master. The greatest bounty of all is on Blackheart, the Devil's own son, who plots to overthrow his father by obtaining a powerful "contract" that could unleash Hell on Earth... because he's just that eeevil. Perhaps ignorance is bliss, for I have never read the Ghost Rider comics, and those who have despise this movie. I thought it was alright. Nothing special besides Nicolas Cage's quirky mannerisms and shots of western landscapes. I thought Johnny's relationship with his love interest was adorable too.

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